Sunday, September 18, 2011

Woman Looking in Mirror in Hotel

Some woman looking in mirror in hotel room just before she starts to get dressed up to go give a speech to shareholders to try to get them to support some proposed tax cuts, and while unrelated lines of changing thoughts are simultaneously moving at different levels of consciousness in her head in the late-morning disorder that usually precedes a serious event set at an odd hour in the day, where focus & organization still haven’t adjusted to the unfamiliar schedule, one of her most conscious thought-lines is stuck in a loop reviewing some anticipated logistics concerning the lecture, space, & audience, based on her imagination of what it will look and feel like, since she hasn’t seen the room yet, while about 3 consciousness-levels down, a thought-line without a theme has been running through successive subjects without transitions, kind of quickly, one of whose 1st components concerns a difficult decision she and her husband just started discussing a few days ago about whether they should remodel their kitchen whose original basic design and details they said couldn’t have been more perfect except they really want a sink and counter in the middle that you can walk around on all 4 sides, and another concerns conflicting reports she’s heard during the past year or so about the health benefits/detriments of very frequent ramming, for both sexes, followed by about a half dozen other topics, before she ends up at a recurring notion that she kind of knows these tax cuts won’t hardly effect any of the shareholders except a few really rich ones who are paying her salary and won’t even be at the lecture today, and with a strong enough awareness that she could probably state it directly to herself, at least in her mind, if the lecture logistics-line weren’t running on so much power now, something like a belief is emerging from this notion and suggesting that if the world were fairer then there’s no way she’d want to do this kind of work, but as it is, someone else would do it if she didn’t, and anyway she’s fairly socially responsible in other respects and nothing would change if she acted otherwise, except that she wouldn’t make as much money, but at exactly the same time, on a much weaker consciousness line, with too faint a perception to be called ‘self confessing’, there’s a thought forming, branching down from the end of the pervious line, whose content contains a mixed and vague set of propositions that, if it could continue its structural development and ignore the noise from competing thoughts at other levels, might start to suggest that, based on her particular abilities, she’s actually pursuing the most direct path possible to a position & lifestyle with sufficient authority, critical-analysis activities, and dynamic public-interaction opportunities for drowning out a permenant and exaggerated self-consciousness she has about some of her own physical features, namely that her eyes are set too high, and a little too close together relative to the overall shape of her face

1 comment:

Bev said...

from a drawing w/ story on 3 wood panels, by Jeff Gabel, 2007 - was exhibited at iMoca in 07